Have you ever noticed how our emotions behave a lot like the weather? The climate shifts, temperatures rise and fall, and skies brighten or suddenly darken. One moment feels sunny, the next brings a storm. Some days bring gentle rain, others a fierce downpour, and no two autumn days ever feel exactly the same. Our emotional life mirrors this rhythm. Emotions vary in climate, temperature, and intensity. They are never static; they come and go, shift and evolve.
Yet most of us are caught off guard by our emotions because they often show up when we least expect them, uninvited, unannounced, and sometimes unwelcome. Since few of us were ever taught how to engage with our emotions, we often develop a complicated, sometimes even hostile relationship with them.
We try to ignore them, suppress them, or numb them in hopes that life will feel easier if we simply push them aside. But has that ever truly worked? The very emotions we attempt to bury inevitably resurface, often at the most inconvenient and uncomfortable moments.
If we’re honest, we know that ignoring our emotions comes with a high cost. It harms us and strains our relationships. When others share their vulnerable feelings, we may feel lost, overwhelmed, or being accused of being insensitive. If we have only learned to treat our own emotions harshly, it is not hard to imagine we will extend that same treatment to the emotions of others.
You might manage to avoid certain people or situations, but you can’t avoid your emotions. Trying to ignore your emotions is, in a sense, trying to ignore yourself, because you were created as an emotional being. Emotions accompany you every single day. So why continue fighting them when our experience tells us that this approach simply doesn’t work?
Here’s what’s fascinating. Just as we learn to dress for the weather outside, we can also learn to “dress” for our emotional weather. Imagine having an emotional wardrobe, a set of inner resources for each emotional weather. Perhaps an umbrella and raincoat for the sad, rainy days, a warm coat and boots for the emotionally cold or lonely days, sunglasses and a sunhat for the bright, joyful ones.
Instead of treating your emotions as problems to control or avoid, consider learning to approach them with kindness and curiosity. Learn to listen to them, get to know and befriend them and watch how they naturally come, go and evolve. Developing this emotional attunement and gathering the right “emotional weather gear” for various emotions can guide us toward a deeper sense of shalom.
By Bonnie Kim
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